In the spirit of catching up, I've scribbled some choice quotes on post-its over the last couple of weeks....
* * *
Felix came home with a nasty scrape on his forehead.
Felix: You were pretending to be a vacuum cleaner and you got a rug burn so you got a band-aid.
* * *
The other night, Felix was whispering to himself after I tucked him in.
Felix: You had milk and pizza on an airplane. The faucets turn off all by themselves.
* * *
After an ill-considered lurch to the side while using the toilet, Felix's Sesame Street toilet seat got a little messy.
Felix: Elmo is eating poop.
* * *
The other day, Marya was prepping Felix for our big outing.
Marya: Oh, Felix, I forgot to tell you about something we're going to see when we go downtown today. We're going to see the city Christmas tree. It's the biggest Christmas tree you've ever seen.
Felix: You're going to knock over the Christmas tree.
* * *
As Felix's mastery of the toilet grows, so, too does his desire to use it without meddling.
Felix: You want to close the door.
Keir: Felix, daddy and mommy and teachers are allowed to keep the door open.
Felix: Daddy and mommy and teachers are not allowed to keep the door open.
Keir: Daddy and mommy and teachers ARE allowed to keep the door open.
Felix: Daddy and mommy and teachers are not allowed to keep the door open any more.
* * *
Once, in a state of extreme exasperation--Felix refused to stop kicking the toilet roll--I told him that, if he didn't stop, I would take it off the wall and put it away forever. It worked, but now he won't let me forget what I said. He quotes it often. And strangely, he adds a number at the end, as if quoting chapter and verse.
Keir: Felix, stop that, please.
Felix: "If you don't stop I will take it off the wall and put it away forever." Five fifty-five!
* * *
This morning when we talked into the school, Felix stopped in the doorway and announced to Ron and Juanita, the guards:
Felix: I'm fine, thank you.
Ron: Good morning.
Juanita: Nice to see you.
Felix: That is an upside-down stop sign.
(Indeed. They use it to guide traffic outside the school when it's not resting upside-down on the window sill.)
Juanita: Yes, it is.
Felix: S-T-O-P spells "stop."
Keir: (Thinking about all the unkind things he's said about precocious children in the past.) Say goodbye, Felix.
Juanita: He's going to be our next President.
