Smokers

At breakfast this morning we noticed an article about smoking.

F: Once I saw a man who was smoking a cigarette, a cigar, and a pipe all at the same time.

M: Really?

F: I really did, it's true. I was two and a half and you were looking the other way.

C: Once I saw a woman smoking a cigarette! It's true. I really did!

Sticks, Poop, Senior Citizens, and Good Manners

Some random exchanges from the past couple of weeks....

While we were in Montana, Cosmo slept in the car almost all the way to Flathead Lake. Suddenly, Grandpa Tom and I heard a voice from the back seat.

Cosmo: What if you had a stick that was four thousand feet long?
Keir: Were you dreaming about sticks, Cosmo?
Cosmo: Yes.

*****

Rallying the troops.

Keir: Come on, Felix. We're going to go visit Grandpa Dave and Grandma Laura.
Felix: I don't want to go see Grandpa Dave and Grandma Laura. It's not very fun and there's too much senior citizens.

*****

Keir: Come on, Felix. You need to poop before you go to bed. I don't think you've gone poop for days.
Felix: I'm tired of pooping all the time.

*****

Back in Chicago, after school, on the bus.

Keir: Cosmo, did you draw any pictures today?
Cosmo: Yes! I drew a picture of a truck.
Keir: Will you draw me a picture of a truck?
Cosmo: Yes. But the green one is for me.
Keir: Will you draw an orange dump truck for me?
Cosmo: Yes. I'll draw an orange truck for you, and a blue truck for mommy, and a purple truck for Felix.
Felix: No!
Keir: Felix....
Felix: I don't like the way he draws trucks.
Keir: Felix, if someone gives you a gift, it's because they want to make you feel good. If you say thank you, it makes them feel good. So just say thank you and take the gift. You don't have to play with it if you really don't like it.
Felix: Paper can be recycled.

New Bikes!

Felix got his cast off the day we left for Montana. He wore a splint most of the time we were there--but less and less as he began to feel more comfortable without it. Last Wednesday, we got a thumbs-up from his doctor after a good X-ray and exam. We asked him when it would be OK for Felix to ride a bike again and he said, "Oh, probably not before 4:30." (It was 4:10.) Felix, however, wasn't sure he would be ready to ride until "probably November," but when we rescheduled a trip that had been postponed by his injury--to the bike store--he forgot to be worried. Both Felix and Cosmo love their new bikes.


Felix was also really proud that he was strong enough to lift his bike. This was followed by a monlogue that went something like this: "I'm so strong that, when I lift a hammer, even though I know it weighs something, if feels like it doesn't weigh anything."

Cosmo, too, proved that he is really strong:

In action:

Dress-up Day at school

Illinois Railway Museum

On the town with Cosmo

About to cross a street, Cosmo knows the drill:
This crosswalk is for people to cross the street. We are people, so we can cross here.

And as the bus rode over several pot holes, Cosmo announces with enthusiasm:
It's shaking my penis up and down!

Two Judges, Three Judgments

Not a moment's peace.

Keir: Felix, just back off! Keep your hands off your brother and leave him alone. I'm trying to make dinner and I can't do it when I have to keep separating you.
Felix: When I'm forty, I'll probably sound like you.

*****

At the petting zoo.

Keir: Felix, do you smell that? That's manure.
Felix: Yes, I smell it.
Keir: Do you know what manure is? Animal poop.
Felix: Eww.
Keir: Did you know that farmers use manure? When they plant seeds, they cover them in manure, and the manure helps the seeds grow faster.
Felix: You're crazy.

*****

Looking out the window of the bus.

Felix: That woman is smoking a cigarette!
Cosmo: She's bad!
Felix: Her lungs will get coated in tar, and they'll turn black!
Cosmo: And she will die!
Felix: And she's doing it right outside a hospital.
Cosmo: We have a book about that.