All I Want for Christmas Is My . . .

. . . one front tooth.

Felix: The very moment that my tooth fell out was like the greatest feeling in the whole world!

King of the World? Big Deal

I think we'd have to talk to her first.

Felix: Dad, is the Tooth Fairy imaginative?

***

One man's King of the World is another man's...

Cosmo: I am the toilet manager!

***

Not all learning is curriculum-based.

Felix: Before school, when she didn't think we were listening, I heard Miss Whitmore say that she's overworked and underpaid. I said, "I heard that!" Miss Fitzpatrick said she's REALLY overworked and REALLY underpaid.

***

The weather report makes children spring into action.

Felix: I need to move my soccer trophies away from the window because there are going to be severe storms today. (Moves them.) I put them on the shelf and now, if there's a thunderstorm or a tornado, they won't be damaged, at least not very much.

***

Hey, fair is fair.

Cosmo: Even though Felix got to the finish line first, it was still a tie.

***

No idea.

Cosmo: (looking at my beard, I think) Wow, your skin is growing tall.

***

I feel the same way, often.

C: It wasn't fun, it was grown-up.

***

No comment.

F: I wish I could just walk around showing off in my underwear.

***

Priorities.

F: The most important things to me are: first, macaroni and cheese with hot dog slices; second, my family; third, Spain. I am so obsessed with Spain.

***

City kids learn hard truths early.

Felix: (pointing to the bus driver's plexiglas safety shield) Daddy, what's that for?
Keir: (not wanting to suggest that riding the bus isn't safe) Um, I think that's so people don't sneeze on the bus driver.
F: Oh. I thought it was in case someone shot a gun at him.

Father's Day Edition

For Father's Day, here's a quick roundup of Felix and Cosmo's wit and witticisms over the past couple of months.

***

Looking at a video box that someone lent us.

Cosmo: Mommy, doesn't this look like a good movie?
Marya: Yes, it does.
C: But why does it have a girl in it?
M: Do you guys want to know something? There are more girls in the world than boys.
F: You're just being mean.

***

Felix: I am gonna be rich. Do you know why? Because I'm going to invent a 30-dollar bill, a 40-dollar bill, and a 15-dollar bill.

***

At bedtime, testing his night vision.

Cosmo: I think my eyes glow in the dark.

***

Inventory.

Felix: How come I only have 53 marbles in here? There should be 138.

***

I only know one trick, too.

Felix: Stop showing us so much magic, Daddy. You're going to turn us into magicians.

***

During the run-up to the World Cup, ESPN kept announcing the first game on June 11.

Felix: I can't believe they showed my birthday on TV. I'm famous!

***

On our way to the Shedd Aquarium, we walked through a pedestrian underpass where an a capella group was enthusiastically singing "Love Shack."

Keir: Look, Cosmo, singers!
Cosmo: I will chop their heads off!

***

Felix: Grandpa Tom has lived in that house for a really long time.
Keir: It's a nice house, and he really likes it.
Felix: Well, he has a really nice sprinkler.

***

At bedtime one night I told the thrilling story of how Grandpa Tom and I caught a squirrel in our basement when I was a kid.

Felix: So Grandpa Tom caught the squirrel.
Keir: Yes, I was kind of afraid of that squirrel, so it's lucky I had a grownup to help me.
Cosmo: Next time you're a kid, you will know to just close the crate really fast.

***

Felix: So, NAME REDACTED asked, if Grace couldn't come to my party, if she could come in her place. And I said no, because NAME REDACTED is always bothering me. She's always putting her hands down my pants and trying to kiss me.
Keir: (Thinking, they grow up so fast.) Uh...why does she do that?
Felix: She just likes to get poop on her hand so she can rub it on my face.

***

Watching rain streak the windows of the bus.

Cosmo: I think it's 'bout to pour.

****

Cosmo: When I get older I want to invent a train track for cars.

***

Learning that yellow is now Felix's favorite color, not orange.

Keir: Felix, how long has yellow been your favorite color?
Felix: I've been fooling you for four or five years.

***

Explaining severe tire damage.

Keir: ...so that's why they put this sign here, so people don't accidentally drive over this the wrong way and ruin their tires.
Felix: If I were doing this I would be more clever and I would not put up a sign to warn them.

***

More World Cup. (Felix supports the U.S. with Argentina as his second team.)

Felix: I have a dark feeling in my heart that Spain is going to win.

Spring Pictures

It's been far too long since we sorted or posted any photos. I just did some selects for 2010, which you can see in their Facebook album. Selected selects below...

New Contraption!

Marya, Felix, and Cosmo spent the morning working on a pretty amazing contraption. It was hard to get all the parts to work correctly - sometimes it seemed as though every time one part got fixed, another one broke - but eventually, after a mere 36 tries, it worked! (With one small assist.)

And, in this corner, wearing 4T pajamas . . .

Cosmo punched me in the mouth last night and gave me a bloody lip. Still, he needs to work on his aim: he was trying to punch Felix.

Thomas the Tank Engine Meets Rube Goldberg

Inspired by OK GO, Felix and Cosmo and I built our own contraption yesterday. (Felix selected the music.)



Felix also insisted that I include the second take. Just taking orders....

2009 in Pictures

It's been far too long since we posted any pictures here. But tonight I finished kind of a greatest hits of 2009 on Facebook, which you should be able to check out even if you're not on Facebook. Kind of a myopic selection - no relatives beyond our nuclear family - but the album was originally called "Felix and Cosmo," and this blog is called "Felix and Cosmo," and I can't help it if their parents sneaked into a few shots.

OK, Felix and Cosmo, GO!

Felix and Cosmo are crazy about this video. It's hard to hear the song over their shrieking. We like it, too. It's a higher level of mayhem than most Rube Goldberg contraptions.

The Fighting Felixes

Felix: I wish I had 6,000 brothers.
Keir: I'm glad you don't. I feel tired just thinking about it. If you had 6,000 brothers, I'd have to deal with 6,000 fights.
F: No, there would be 3,000 fights. Two brothers for every fight.
K: Felix, you're right! Good math.
F: Or it could be like two armies, each with 3,000 kids, and one big fight. The red army could fight the blue army.

Die, Litterbug, Die!

How does this work again?

F: Faizuddin told me that he thinks, if he tries hard enough -- and earns enough money, like $200 or $50,000 -- when he grows up he can be my dad. When you die, he can replace you, and we'll have a new dad.
K: Well, that would make me sad. I like being your dad.
C: You won't even know. You'll be in the cemetery.

*****

F: Life is hard being a cat, huh, Cooper?

*****

C: Did you know that there's another McDonald's?

*****

Because I couldn't get your attention.

F: Dad, why are you waving your hand at me? I'm not a motion sensor!

*****

They've tried every other kind of fighting....

C: Felix, let's have a smile fight!
F: That doesn't even make sense.

*****

Parenting in the new millenium.

F: He's in my personal space.
C: He's in MY personal space.
F: Well, he's not showing me respect.

*****

Cosmo is a big fan of sticks.

M: Cosmo, you have to do your bark stripping over the trash.

*****

As mentioned previously.

K: Cosmo, put that stick down. You can't take a stick on the bus.
C: (in tears) But what if I need to break some ice outside of my house?!

*****

Only if we warn them of the consequences first.

C: Dad! There's some litter on the ground.
K: It makes me mad when I see people litter. I want them to treat our city with respect.
C: If I saw that, it would make me so mad I would just want to kill them.