Sometimes a Floor Is Just a Floor

Time to teach him the concept of false modesty. To our neighbor:

Felix: Amber, I am just too cute!

*****

After school, holding up a contraption he's made out of bristle blocks (or is it BristleBlox?):

Keir: Felix, what's that?

Felix: This is an old-fashioned air-conditioner filter.

*****

Squinting in the early evening sun:

F: Um, I am a little bit unhappy in the bright sunlight.

*****

Felix has definitely entered the "why" phase.

Felix: Daddy, what does that sign say?

Keir: It says "Danger!"

F: Why does it say that?

K: Because there is electricity inside of that big box, and they are warning us to be careful.

F: Why do we have to be careful?

K: Because electricity can burn you.

F: Why can it burn you?

K: Well, um, hm...because electricity carries energy...and...it can get...hot...like the burners on a stove! You know how we tell you not to touch the burners on the stove? When we turn them on, the gas makes fire, which is hot, because when we light the gas it releases energy. And we use the fire to cook our food.

F: Why do we cook our food?

K: Because it, well, when you warm it up, it's softer and it tastes better.

F: Whoa! I just said "whoa" because we use the burners to cook!

*****

Very prim and proper are we:

F: I do so like Rique's restaurant.

*****

But also melancholy:

F: I am not happy very often, I don't think.

*****

Drawing:

F: That's a wild astronaut eating ice cream.

*****

One night recently, Felix had a very vivid dream that woke him up feeling confused and a little frightened. Now, however, he loves to tell us about it. It changes a little bit each time, but the gist is always the same.

F: Hey, Daddy, I'm going to talk to you about a spooky story. The spooky story has a blue elevator and on top of it is a white string with a ghost telephone. And it's painted green and it has 258 eyes and 258 legs. And it has 5860 feet.

K: What does the ghost telephone do?
F: It just rolls around. ("wolls awound")

*****

Felix: Mommy, do you think I could jump this high?
Marya: No way! Be careful!

Felix: That doesn't make any sense.

*****

Anticipating the arrival of the babysitter:

Felix: When Miss Alex comes over I am going to pretend that she is a donut. I am going to say "Boo!" to her. I cam going to call her Oliver Boliver Butt. I am going to name her Dave.

*****

One day when I was sitting in the bath, Felix noticed that I no longer have the slim physique of a 25-year-old--to wit, that I get a big crease in my belly. Pressed to explain it, I told him it was a big wrinkle. Delighted, he has since become mildly obsessed with it. Unfortunately, he calls it my "winkle." At storytime, he frequently interrupts reading:

"Hey, Daddy, I am just touching your winkle for fun."

"I am going to buzz your winkle."

"I gave your winkle a big slurpy kiss."

Sigh. We have explained that it's pronounced "wrinkle," but he gleefully insists that he calls it a "winkle." Can't wait until he tells the teachers about that one.

*****

The "why" phase continues:

Keir: Felix, you need to wipe up with this washcloth.

Felix: No, the floor needs to do it.

K: The floor doesn't have any hands.

F: Why doesn't the floor have hands?

K: Because it is not a person.

F: Why is it not a person?

K: Because...I have no idea. It's just not. It's a floor.

Sliding on the Picasso

Special day with Daddy

Putting Felix to bed tonight, we sang a few songs then he said, "Put my sheet on me then let's talk about my special day with Daddy." I tucked in his sheet, then he told me the story about his Friday outing with Keir for the fourth time (same word choices each time). "We got on a three bus and Daddy asked the bus driver 'Does this bus go to Millenium Park?' The bus driver said the bus did go to Millenium Park. When we got off the bus, what do you suppose we saw? Why, it was Crown Fountain! The most speciallest fountain in the whole States of Africa!