Quoth Felix, Even More

Keir: Felix, be careful, you just peed on me a little. I know it was an accident, but be careful.
Felix: (singing) Peeing on your eardrum, peeing on your cheekdrum, hi ho the dairy-o, peeing on your legdrum.

*****

At bedtime, Felix has a strong preference as to where I focus my attention.

F: Daddy, look at the book when you're reading. Don't look into my face. It hurts my ears.

*****

Felix, standing at the bus stop, banging two sticks together.

F: I am just banging this stick to make those cars go faster.
K: I don't think that will make the cars go faster.
F: I think it will.

*****

After a disaster at Rique's, en route to Tedino's, when Felix gives me a kiss.

F: Daddy, I just kissed you because I love pizza.
M: You should kiss your pizza.
F: No way, that's too messy. That's way too messy.

*****

When I arrive at Felix's school, he is building something interesting out of bristle blocks.

F: Daddy, that's a pneumatic smoke-steam car. Don't touch the engine because it gets really hot when it makes noise.

*****

Felix, reading a label.

F: Daddy, that says "organic." That means there is no spinach, or celery, or carrots in here.

****

F: I want my milk!
K: Do you think milk grows on trees?
F: No. I think apples do, usually. And pears do, very often.

(N.B. When Felix says "often," he pronounces the t quite clearly, like "off-ten.")

*****

Felix looks into the future; his parents beam with pride.

F: When I am 31 years old, I won't pee in my pants anymore.

*****

But at least he'll be employed.

F: When I am 56 years old, I am going to be a waiter.

*****

He is a gentle soul.

F: Mommy, screaming on the bus freaks me out.

*****

After the Cubs won the Central Division, and before they were swept in the NLDS, Felix proved he has the makings of a long-suffering Cubs fan.

K: Felix, can you say, "Go, Cubbies"?
F: Go, Cubbies!
K: Felix, the Cubbies are the champions!
F: No, they're not, they're the Cubbies.