A list of Cosmo's most used words

Mommy (all the time, even as I write now)

Daddy

Felix (Fewish)

dump truck, car, bus, school bus, airplane, train (Cosmo has matchbox versions of all of these which he obsessively carries with him everywhere)

taxi

river (Cosmo stands up to see the Chicago River each day)

bicycle (uckle)

milk, juice, cereal

Ernie

yellow (yoi-yo)

stuck (his favorite game right now is getting himself wedged between the crib and sofa, and repeating "stuck!" until we rescue him)

driver (refering to the bus driver)

jump (when about to jump off Felix's bed)

and lots more...

Quoth Felix, Even More

Keir: Felix, be careful, you just peed on me a little. I know it was an accident, but be careful.
Felix: (singing) Peeing on your eardrum, peeing on your cheekdrum, hi ho the dairy-o, peeing on your legdrum.

*****

At bedtime, Felix has a strong preference as to where I focus my attention.

F: Daddy, look at the book when you're reading. Don't look into my face. It hurts my ears.

*****

Felix, standing at the bus stop, banging two sticks together.

F: I am just banging this stick to make those cars go faster.
K: I don't think that will make the cars go faster.
F: I think it will.

*****

After a disaster at Rique's, en route to Tedino's, when Felix gives me a kiss.

F: Daddy, I just kissed you because I love pizza.
M: You should kiss your pizza.
F: No way, that's too messy. That's way too messy.

*****

When I arrive at Felix's school, he is building something interesting out of bristle blocks.

F: Daddy, that's a pneumatic smoke-steam car. Don't touch the engine because it gets really hot when it makes noise.

*****

Felix, reading a label.

F: Daddy, that says "organic." That means there is no spinach, or celery, or carrots in here.

****

F: I want my milk!
K: Do you think milk grows on trees?
F: No. I think apples do, usually. And pears do, very often.

(N.B. When Felix says "often," he pronounces the t quite clearly, like "off-ten.")

*****

Felix looks into the future; his parents beam with pride.

F: When I am 31 years old, I won't pee in my pants anymore.

*****

But at least he'll be employed.

F: When I am 56 years old, I am going to be a waiter.

*****

He is a gentle soul.

F: Mommy, screaming on the bus freaks me out.

*****

After the Cubs won the Central Division, and before they were swept in the NLDS, Felix proved he has the makings of a long-suffering Cubs fan.

K: Felix, can you say, "Go, Cubbies"?
F: Go, Cubbies!
K: Felix, the Cubbies are the champions!
F: No, they're not, they're the Cubbies.

On the Other Side, Narnia!

This cabinet used to hold my Scotch collection--I was cleaning it out to make room for some books.

Sometimes a Floor Is Just a Floor

Time to teach him the concept of false modesty. To our neighbor:

Felix: Amber, I am just too cute!

*****

After school, holding up a contraption he's made out of bristle blocks (or is it BristleBlox?):

Keir: Felix, what's that?

Felix: This is an old-fashioned air-conditioner filter.

*****

Squinting in the early evening sun:

F: Um, I am a little bit unhappy in the bright sunlight.

*****

Felix has definitely entered the "why" phase.

Felix: Daddy, what does that sign say?

Keir: It says "Danger!"

F: Why does it say that?

K: Because there is electricity inside of that big box, and they are warning us to be careful.

F: Why do we have to be careful?

K: Because electricity can burn you.

F: Why can it burn you?

K: Well, um, hm...because electricity carries energy...and...it can get...hot...like the burners on a stove! You know how we tell you not to touch the burners on the stove? When we turn them on, the gas makes fire, which is hot, because when we light the gas it releases energy. And we use the fire to cook our food.

F: Why do we cook our food?

K: Because it, well, when you warm it up, it's softer and it tastes better.

F: Whoa! I just said "whoa" because we use the burners to cook!

*****

Very prim and proper are we:

F: I do so like Rique's restaurant.

*****

But also melancholy:

F: I am not happy very often, I don't think.

*****

Drawing:

F: That's a wild astronaut eating ice cream.

*****

One night recently, Felix had a very vivid dream that woke him up feeling confused and a little frightened. Now, however, he loves to tell us about it. It changes a little bit each time, but the gist is always the same.

F: Hey, Daddy, I'm going to talk to you about a spooky story. The spooky story has a blue elevator and on top of it is a white string with a ghost telephone. And it's painted green and it has 258 eyes and 258 legs. And it has 5860 feet.

K: What does the ghost telephone do?
F: It just rolls around. ("wolls awound")

*****

Felix: Mommy, do you think I could jump this high?
Marya: No way! Be careful!

Felix: That doesn't make any sense.

*****

Anticipating the arrival of the babysitter:

Felix: When Miss Alex comes over I am going to pretend that she is a donut. I am going to say "Boo!" to her. I cam going to call her Oliver Boliver Butt. I am going to name her Dave.

*****

One day when I was sitting in the bath, Felix noticed that I no longer have the slim physique of a 25-year-old--to wit, that I get a big crease in my belly. Pressed to explain it, I told him it was a big wrinkle. Delighted, he has since become mildly obsessed with it. Unfortunately, he calls it my "winkle." At storytime, he frequently interrupts reading:

"Hey, Daddy, I am just touching your winkle for fun."

"I am going to buzz your winkle."

"I gave your winkle a big slurpy kiss."

Sigh. We have explained that it's pronounced "wrinkle," but he gleefully insists that he calls it a "winkle." Can't wait until he tells the teachers about that one.

*****

The "why" phase continues:

Keir: Felix, you need to wipe up with this washcloth.

Felix: No, the floor needs to do it.

K: The floor doesn't have any hands.

F: Why doesn't the floor have hands?

K: Because it is not a person.

F: Why is it not a person?

K: Because...I have no idea. It's just not. It's a floor.

Sliding on the Picasso

Special day with Daddy

Putting Felix to bed tonight, we sang a few songs then he said, "Put my sheet on me then let's talk about my special day with Daddy." I tucked in his sheet, then he told me the story about his Friday outing with Keir for the fourth time (same word choices each time). "We got on a three bus and Daddy asked the bus driver 'Does this bus go to Millenium Park?' The bus driver said the bus did go to Millenium Park. When we got off the bus, what do you suppose we saw? Why, it was Crown Fountain! The most speciallest fountain in the whole States of Africa!

Montana in August, Part 2

The carousel in Missoula is surprisingly fast. Not as fast, say, as the Steel Phantom at Kennywood. But fast.

Cosmo and I rode in the imaginatively rendered fishing creel.

"I'm sorry, son, but Daddy doesn't know how to fish."

Felix tries to put the water from the river on the riverbank.

Smoke, smoke, smoke...*cough, cough*...smoke.

Montana in August, Part 1

Grandma Jo and Cosmo watching deer in the front yard.

Hard to drink when the water fountain keeps spinning around!

A balanced, nutritious meal of Chicago-style hot dogs.

Better than Six Flags!

Even Grandpas fit down the slide.

Sarcasm already?

Tonight, at bedtime, as I was singing--ahem--"Danny Boy":

Keir: "Oh Danny Boy, oh Danny Boy, I love you so"
Felix: Sing "Felix Boy, oh Felix Boy, I love you so"
Keir: "Oh Felix Boy, oh Felix Boy, I love you so"
Felix: "Oh Daddy Boy, oh Daddy Boy, I love you so"
Keir: Aw, Felix, you get a hug for that one!
Felix: I was making a joke.

Minnesota in July

All the Way Back to Chicago from Montana

Felix: I had fun with Oscar and Wilhelmina. They are so cute.

*****

Felix: Hey mommy! Dragon just kissed Spider Lady on the bottom. Dragon must be happy to see Spider Lady.

*****

Felix: It is three hundred miles to come all the way back to Chicago from Montana.

Keir: Oh, I think it's a lot more than that, Felix.

Felix: Three hundred and two?

We spoke of furnaces and other things

Going out of his way to smack a real-estate sign, a favorite pastime.

Felix: When I see a sign I get off the curb and bang it. Oh, what fun!

*****

Awww.

Felix: If everybody kisses everybody else, that will make them have a big smile.

(Awww....)

*****

I'll bet he says that to all the girls.

Felix: Your butt is very round.

Marya: Um...why, thank you, Felix.

*****

Felix: I need a little something to eat.
Keir: Oh, do you need a snack?
Felix: No, I just need a little something to eat.

*****

Changing Cosmo's diaper.

Keir: (to the tune of “Goldfinger”) Cleeeeean diaper! Such a cleeeeean diaper! He’s the man, the man with the driest butt!
Felix: I have the dirtiest butt!
Keir: Oh, no!
Felix: Daddy, you have the fuzziest butt! That’s a joke.
Keir: Phew.
Felix: We are still joking.

*****

Working with Legos.

Felix: I am building the Eiffel Tower. It is going to be very Eiffel-y.

*****

On the bus after school.

Felix: I am your sweet little Daddy.
Keir: No, I am your Daddy. You are my sweet, little Felix.
Felix: You are my sweet big Daddy.

A few moments later.

Felix: Daddy, where is your furnace?
Keir: My furnace? I don't have a furnace.
Felix: Yes you do! It's in your backpack!
Keir: Oh, you must mean my thermos. Yes, I have a thermos in my backpack.
Felix: Josh and Jenni have a thermos, too.
Keir: Does it look like mine?
Felix: Yes. It has a fan on it.
Keir: ?
Felix: And it doesn't turn on in summer, but in winter it turns on to keep their house from getting too cold.

One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish...Blue Fish?

Felix's beloved orange crocs give him blisters if he wears them all day; watching the little flap of skin come off the blister seems to give him existential dread. On a lighter note, the night before last, as I was administering wound care, I did my best to explain things in a reassuring way, at a level he could understand....

K: OK, Felix. Now that we've got your blister cleaned and dried, I'm going to put some goo on it.
F: That's not goo, daddy--that's ointment.

*****

Last night after dinner, Felix suddenly started talking about how he killed the blue fish in room 7. Details were murky, but they seemed at various times to involve a) hitting the fish tank, b) the fish jumping out of the fish tank, c) Felix feeding the fish something that was not food. The whole thing was given the stamp of authenticity by his remark that Miss Simona was going to talk to us about it.

Imagine my relief this morning to get a voicemail from Marya.

M: The blue fish is alive. Repeat: the blue fish is alive.

Thanks, Grandma Nancy!

Grandma Nancy came to help while Keir was in D.C.

Keir was back in time to join us for the week's important events:

Cosmo's graduation from baby daycare,
and Felix's school's (early) 4th of July parade.

Memorial Day Weekend in Oklahoma

We miss you, Keir!

Happy Birthday, Felix!

Poor Gabriel

Yesterday when I went to pick Felix up after school, his teachers were telling me about the latest development in Felix's social life.

Miss Milica: Felix has a girlfriend! Felix, who is your girlfriend?
Felix: Riley!
MM: Poor Gabriel. He is going to be jealous.
F: (gleefully) Gabriel is going to be angelus!

Turns out, Felix had been crying and upset because he didn't want to go play on the playground earlier in the day (it was too hot -- the poor wilting flower). Riley gave him hugs and made him feel better. Awww....

May Photos

Cosmo in the park.



Felix enjoys a waffle (and Spikey Worm) before school.

Know Your Gas Manifolds

Strolling along Argyle Street.

F: Daddy, that is a gas manifold.

K: You're right, Felix.

F: (pointing to some old pipes on the side of the building) What do those do?

K: Well, it's hard to say, Felix. They could have had gas, electricity, water...you can put a lot of things in a pipe...(floundering)...Hey, what's that?

F: A fire hydrant.

K: What comes out of that?

F: Fire.

*****

On a dandelion kick.

F: This is my favorite dandelion of all the north.

*****

Expanding his horizons.

F: I want to listen to special music.
K: What do you mean? Do you want to listen to different music?
F: I want to listen to different music, like Flaming Loose! (Flaming Lips)

*****

Polite conversation-starters.

F: Daddy, I was just going to show you my aardvark.

and

F: Daddy, what do you think of my balloon?

*****

Sometimes, as Felix lies in bed processing the day, it's all I can do to keep up with him. A couple of weeks ago, after an exciting Cinco de Mayo party at the Davieses, I was listing all the fun stuff we did: chalk on the sidewalk, blowing bubbles, smashing a pinata, playing Guitar Hero....

F: I told Maddie, "That is an electric meter."

Then Felix asks what's inside a doorbell.

K: Well, let's see, there's a button outside by the door, and it's connected to a wire that leads into the house to a bell or some chimes.

F: I was sitting under the table at Kevin and Michelle's house listening to the doorbell.

Which is true--though it happened last summer. Then he remembers seeing some doves on a telephone wire at the Davieses.

F: Grandma and grandpa like doves.

K: Do you like doves, Felix?

F: No. I want to bring a dove home.

K: You want to bring a dove home?

F: I want to bring Fred the Dog home. (From Big Dog, Little Dog)

*****

In the morning.

F: Mommy, I was shrieking and spitting and there was a thousand doorbells.

M: Was this in a dream?
F: Yes...I shrieked and spitted inside someone else's house and the round doorbell keeped on ringing one two three four five six seven times.

*****

Me, neither.

F: Mommy, I've never heard of a red fire truck robot.

M: Red fire truck robot?

F: I don't know that.

*****

Felix enjoys dining out.

F: My favorite restaurant is Rique's Restaurant. Daddy's favorite restaurant is Chinese restaurant. Mommy's favorite restaurant is Pankistani restaurant. Cosmo's favorite restaurant is Lebanese restaurant. Grandpa Tom loves Japanese restaurant.

Which is interesting, because I don't think we've taken Felix to a Japanese restaurant since he was old enough to remember--or even talked about it.

*****

An invitation from a friend.

F: Gabriel wants to Chuckie Cheese with me.

*****

One night, after Felix listened intently to "Hobo's Lullaby."

F: Daddy, my hair is not turning gray. My hair is orange. Daddy's hair is not gray. Daddy's hair is still brown. Cosmo's hair is not gray. Cosmo's hair is yellow. My hair is not turning gray from orange.

*****

Felix, rubbing his head morosely after bonking it.

F: I got my head all hurt and bruised--now I won't have a head anymore!

*****

Faking it...still working out the logic.

F: I feel a little bit sick because I am not going to school this morning. So: no school for me!

*****

This morning as we came out of the building, I tugged on Felix's arm to urge him on toward the bus. He started to run, then tripped and sprawled headlong. I picked him up and examined him for damage.

K: Felix, where did you hurt yourself?

F: (indignant, through tears) In the driveway!

*****

Today after school.

F: Mira doesn't eat meatballs. She is a wegetarian.

K: Are you a vegetarian?

F: No, I'm a boy.