Five Makapieces

Cosmo: Makapiece! Makapiece! Funtasay! Funtasay! (Masterpiece! Masterpiece! Fun to say! Fun to say!)

*****

Art with your evening commute.

Felix: Daddy, I just had a great idea. I saw that the bus windows were foggy and I quickly started writing on them.

****

Felix was upset because he didn't want to meet a new babysitter.

Keir: Felix, she's not going to stay long. She's just coming over to say hi.

Felix: Will she just say "hi" and go?

*****

Felix, inspecting the vents under the windows of the bus.

F: Daddy, what are these for?

K: Well, I think that's where the heat comes out. Can you feel it?

F: (holding his hand over it) Yes--it's cold heat.

*****

Felix, looking out a restaurant into traffic.

F: U-H-A-U-L. What does that spell?

Marya: U-Haul. A long time ago, when your daddy and I lived in Montana, we put all of our stuff in a U-Haul truck and drove to Chicago.

F: Who were my mommy and daddy when you lived in Montana?

Snapshots from President's Day

A close reading of Red Fish, Blue Fish:

Felix: Why is the red fish hurting him? Maybe the yellow fish did something bad.

Keir: Even if the yellow fish did something bad, it's not OK to hurt him.

F: Even shooting kills fish. And they do not want to be killed--that is terrible manners.

*****

Cosmo, reaching for it:

C: Bracelet!

F: Cosmo, this turns out to be mine.

*****

During a dance party, Cosmo is not dancing fast enough for Felix's taste:

F: Cosmo is stalling. Stalling is when someone is wasting time.

Love Is in the Air

Felix is beginning to understand that little boys should like superheroes, but he's not really clear on the whole superhero concept.

Keir: (mishearing something) You like to eat Spidermans?
Felix: No. Spidermans like to eat fish and I like to eat fish and fish like to eat cake.

*****

Felix, throwing a helpless puppet.

F: Porcupine is killed!
K: It's not nice to kill things.
F: You shouldn't have told me that. That hurts my feelings.

*****

Wouldn't we all like to know.

F: Daddy, why does Cosmo like Mommy so much?

*****

The day before Valentine's Day, Felix was already in the mood.

F: Today I am going to play with my good old friend, Paula.
K: You guys have been friends for a long time.
F: Yes, that is because we just love each other.

Cosmorific!

Felix has so much to say that poor Cosmo often gets left out of the blog updates. He is, however, starting to talk quite a bit lately. He's not quite to the mot juste phase--even the bon mots are few and far between--but here's a sampling:

doo dat (do that)
hempty (empty)
hop high (up high)
a-heavy, or e-heavy (heavy)
On top! (On top!!)
e-cute (cute)
e-peeking (peeking)
A ladder! A ladder! (I can climb up there if you let go of me)
A fun, funny
a-scared (I am frightened because)
ROAR (the lion at the zoo roared, and it startled me)
doing (what are you doing?)
taste, tastes (This tastes good!)

After Drawing, You Should Really Wait 30 Minutes before You Eat

Felix: Look! My banana has marker on it. But the marker is non-toxic, which means it won't hurt my tum.

A Medium-Sized Dog, Still Growing

Keir: Do you remember the story "Big Dog, Little Dog"? When the big dog sleeps in the little bed, he thrashes around and can't sleep. And when the little dog sleeps in the big bed, he can't sleep, either. But when the big dog is in the big bed, and the little dog is in the little bed, they sleep through the night. That's kind of like at our home. When you and Cosmo and Cooper and Annie all want to sleep in Mommy and Daddy's bed, it's too crowded and nobody can sleep very well. But your bed is just right--you're kind of a medium-sized dog with a medium-sized bed. When you get to be big like Daddy, then you will get a bigger bed of your own.

Felix: When I am 39 years old, I will have a big bed like yours.

Keir: That's right. And you will have your own house and maybe even your own family. Isn't that funny?

Felix: No! I will still live at home.

Keir: Well, that will be nice for us. And you can have a bigger bed.

Felix: My bed will be orange.

Keir: That will look nice.

Felix: You might have to take your bed apart so there is room for my bed.

Part 2: The Interview

A Low-Impact Tagger

Felix is often sad when the bus windows are wet on the outside, because then he can't write on them while we're riding. This morning, however, he was in luck.

Even the Thought of Campaigning Is Tiring

At dinnertime on Friday.

Marya: Today, at daycare, Ian's mom said, "Do you know what I just said to Cosmo? I said, 'You are so smart, you will be the president. So I'm going to call you President Cosmo.'"

Keir: People used to say that about Felix, too.

Marya: That's right. Maybe we'll have two presidents in the family.

Felix: Noooooo! We will have no presidents in this family!

Fall Down Face First

The other night, Felix and Cosmo were jumping from the ottoman to the couch. Needless to say, Cosmo couldn't jump quite as far as Felix. But they both enjoyed his crashes.

Felix: Cosmo, climb up, jump, and fall down face first.

*****

Felix lost his mittens. ("It's a mystery," quoth he.) I interrogated him.

Keir: Did you wear your mittens when you played outside on the playground?

Felix: Yes.

K: And did you still have them on when you came inside?

F: Yes.

K: What did you do after you took them off?

F: I lost them.

*****

After school, Felix was demonstrating how he could run 3000 miles per hour when he got a little carried away.

Keir: Felix, don't run toward the street. If you trip and fall into the street, those cars can't stop in time and they will hit you.

Felix: Daddy, what happens if those cars can't stop in time? Will they break me?

K: You would be hurt very badly. You would have to go to the hospital, and I would be so sad. I would cry.

F: (disbelieving) Daddy, adults don't cry!

K: Yes, they do, Felix.

F: No, you don't cry.

K: Well, not very much, but when something makes me really sad, I cry.

F: No you don't. Adults get upset, and that is when they do not cry.

Hey, driver, easy on the gas!

Felix, standing on a crowded bus in the morning rush hour.

F: My pants are falling down because this bus is going too fast.

*****

A tender moment.

F: Daddy, I just love you. I will keep you safe so you don't get hit by a car or fall down concrete stairs and get stitches on your lip.

*****

A less tender moment.

K: Felix, you need to calm down and be nice to Cosmo. And to Cooper, and to me and to everybody. That shouldn't be hard, because I know you are a nice guy.
F: (intently) I am the guy who will decide what do to.

This morning

Felix, remembering waking up in the middle of the night, hearing a strange sound from upstairs:
All the parts of my skeleton started to burn because I was so, so, so, so scared of that noise.

After Felix got dressed:
Mommy, lets get on with talking about smoke alarms and how they work.

Move over, Frank Lloyd Wright

Felix: When I wake up in the middle of the night and when I wake up in the morning orange is my favorite color. Yes, orange is always my favorite color.

Felix: When I am an architect maybe I will learn how cars and trucks and snowplows work. 83 is how old architects are.

Here is a picture of Felix's "old-fashioned, modern-fashioned TV radio tower"

New Year's Day

Persistence Rewarded

Overjoyed because, for the second time in a row, his examination of the candy-machine hopper paid off:

F: Daddy, my wish became true because I was the one who wanted to eat a Skittle from the dry cleaner.

More Engineer Than Marine Biologist

Sleepy, snuggly, morning thoughts:

F: Daddy, I love being on the earth. I don't like being in outer space very much.

K: Don't worry, you'll probably never go to outer space.

F: Why? Why will I probably never go to outer space?

*****

At the aquarium, Felix quickly becomes bored with the beluga viewing.

F: Daddy, take me to see something with buttons.

*****

Grandma Nancy and Felix examining an exhibit that explains how some shapes are better suited for swimming than others.

GN: Do you see that teardrop shape?

F: That's not a teardrop shape, that's an ellipsoid.

GN: Well, you can really call it either one.

F: I call it an ellipsoid.

The Mystery of Purring

I'm finding stuff everywhere! This was written on the back of a Christmas party invitation:

The other night, as we had snuggle time before bedtime, Felix was petting Cooper and speculating about where purring comes from.

Felix: Mommy, where does Cooper's purr come from? Does it come out of his ear? Does it come out of his butt? Does it come out of his tail?

etc. etc.

Cosmo calls Cooper "Pooper." Fairly accurate.

*****

Felix, wearing pants on his head.

F: I look weird-looking.

I Can Play No More Forever

Can you tell I'm cleaning off my desk?

F: Cosmo, I am so pwoud of you because you don't need the stool anymore. I don't need the stool anymore, either, because I am three years old.

We've noted a key difference in the kids' personalities that is symbolized by the way they answer in the affirmative:

Felix: Yes.
Cosmo: Yeah.

*****

Before the snow started falling, Felix and Cosmo had a blast playing in the leaves. Then one day we came home to find the lawn raked clean as carpet.

F: There are no more leaves...now I can play no more. I think that was not very nice.

*****

F: Daddy, you are the oldest boy in the world.

*****

One day, Felix was counting up his "ladies"--kids and teachers at school.

F: ...Paula, Roshni, Jenna, Miss Graham, Miss Corbett--now I have eight nice ladies.

Weather, Cats, Death, and Excavators

A couple of older things I just found:

F: Daddy, on October 10 it will be 55 degrees.
K: Marya, did you tell him that?
M: No, he knows how to read the weather report.

For awhile after that Felix was on a real weather kick, asking for the paper while he ate his cereal, informing us of the day's predicted highs and lows.

*****

The cousins come up now and again...

F: Mommy, Wilhelmina likes to drink like a cat. I like to do what Wilhelmina does.

*****

Somewhat more recently, Felix and I were talking about the castle in Dr. Seuss' Sleep Book and the conversation quickly took a darker turn:

F: Daddy, how do they build that castle?
K: I don't know how they built it. But it must be very hard to build a castle.
F: When I am 694 years old I will know how to build that castle. And then I will die.
K: (flabbergasted)
F: I will be a little bit sad when I die.
K: (feeling a little bit sad, too) Felix, let's talk about something else. That's a long ways away. You're going to live a long time. You're just a kid and you've got your whole life ahead of you.
F: And then when I'm 695, I will be the oldest boy in the whole world.

*****

3 a.m. the other night, Felix bright-eyed, Daddy groggy

F: Daddy, on Saturday we can go the toy store in Lincoln Square and look for a toy excavator. Not a real excavator, a toy excavator.

Who Are You--Jean-Claude Van Damme?

F: Mommy, what happens if I kick somebody in the face?