More Engineer Than Marine Biologist

Sleepy, snuggly, morning thoughts:

F: Daddy, I love being on the earth. I don't like being in outer space very much.

K: Don't worry, you'll probably never go to outer space.

F: Why? Why will I probably never go to outer space?

*****

At the aquarium, Felix quickly becomes bored with the beluga viewing.

F: Daddy, take me to see something with buttons.

*****

Grandma Nancy and Felix examining an exhibit that explains how some shapes are better suited for swimming than others.

GN: Do you see that teardrop shape?

F: That's not a teardrop shape, that's an ellipsoid.

GN: Well, you can really call it either one.

F: I call it an ellipsoid.

The Mystery of Purring

I'm finding stuff everywhere! This was written on the back of a Christmas party invitation:

The other night, as we had snuggle time before bedtime, Felix was petting Cooper and speculating about where purring comes from.

Felix: Mommy, where does Cooper's purr come from? Does it come out of his ear? Does it come out of his butt? Does it come out of his tail?

etc. etc.

Cosmo calls Cooper "Pooper." Fairly accurate.

*****

Felix, wearing pants on his head.

F: I look weird-looking.

I Can Play No More Forever

Can you tell I'm cleaning off my desk?

F: Cosmo, I am so pwoud of you because you don't need the stool anymore. I don't need the stool anymore, either, because I am three years old.

We've noted a key difference in the kids' personalities that is symbolized by the way they answer in the affirmative:

Felix: Yes.
Cosmo: Yeah.

*****

Before the snow started falling, Felix and Cosmo had a blast playing in the leaves. Then one day we came home to find the lawn raked clean as carpet.

F: There are no more leaves...now I can play no more. I think that was not very nice.

*****

F: Daddy, you are the oldest boy in the world.

*****

One day, Felix was counting up his "ladies"--kids and teachers at school.

F: ...Paula, Roshni, Jenna, Miss Graham, Miss Corbett--now I have eight nice ladies.

Weather, Cats, Death, and Excavators

A couple of older things I just found:

F: Daddy, on October 10 it will be 55 degrees.
K: Marya, did you tell him that?
M: No, he knows how to read the weather report.

For awhile after that Felix was on a real weather kick, asking for the paper while he ate his cereal, informing us of the day's predicted highs and lows.

*****

The cousins come up now and again...

F: Mommy, Wilhelmina likes to drink like a cat. I like to do what Wilhelmina does.

*****

Somewhat more recently, Felix and I were talking about the castle in Dr. Seuss' Sleep Book and the conversation quickly took a darker turn:

F: Daddy, how do they build that castle?
K: I don't know how they built it. But it must be very hard to build a castle.
F: When I am 694 years old I will know how to build that castle. And then I will die.
K: (flabbergasted)
F: I will be a little bit sad when I die.
K: (feeling a little bit sad, too) Felix, let's talk about something else. That's a long ways away. You're going to live a long time. You're just a kid and you've got your whole life ahead of you.
F: And then when I'm 695, I will be the oldest boy in the whole world.

*****

3 a.m. the other night, Felix bright-eyed, Daddy groggy

F: Daddy, on Saturday we can go the toy store in Lincoln Square and look for a toy excavator. Not a real excavator, a toy excavator.

Who Are You--Jean-Claude Van Damme?

F: Mommy, what happens if I kick somebody in the face?

Who's the Guy in the Beard Again?

Last Saturday, Marya's work had a family Christmas party. There was a magic show and a visit from Old Saint Nick...

Big Questions and Lots of Sugar

Felix, reading the cover of a risque issue of Time Out Chicago:

F: Daddy, what does S-E-X spell?

*****

Keir: Felix, I'm going to give you two choices. One, take a nap right now. Two, read a book.
Felix: Three.

*****

The day after Halloween:


Felix: If I drink milk, it gives me more energy to play with candy.


...Daddy, I have zillion hundreds of candy. Zillions and zillions, hundreds and thousands.


*****


After two successive sidewalk mishaps:


F: I have concrete in my head and in my knee.


*****


Felix loves having company over.


F: As soon as Josh takes off his coat, I am going to wrestle him.


*****


Coming in on Felix whopping Cosmo with the spiky worm:


K: Don't hit Cosmo. Do you know why he follows you around all the time? Because he wants to be like you.

F: But I just want to be like him!


*****

Sweets for the sweet.

F: Cosmo is eating his cookie! Good thinking, Cosmo!


...Daddy, I just love to eat sugar--and cookies, because they are good for me.


*****


F: Daddy, there are 24 hours in a day. How many hours are in the night?



*****

After a big struggle to get the kids to go sledding with me so Marya can wrap some presents, I try to play on Felix's innate sense of big-brother superiority:

Keir: You see, Felix, Cosmo doesn't understand about Christmas and surprises....
Felix: I don't understand, either!

*****

Soon we'll be doing more reporting on Cosmo's dialog, too. So far, his vocabulary is a lot more surferesque than Felix's, with lots of "whoa!" "all right!" and "fell down!" He is very exuberant. He likes to point out when things are "on top!" of other things. Also, street sweepers are still a favorite ("sweeper!").

Halloween

Felix: If I drink milk, it gives me more energy to play with candy.

Daddy, I have zillion hundreds of candy. Zillions and zillions, hundreds and thousands.

Felix reads!

He started reading simple sentences a few weeks ago and last night he read the original Curious George from cover to cover. Wow!

Their First Conversation

Felix: Cosmo, let's go into my room and dive into the crib. Do you think that's a good idea?

Cosmo: Yeah.

Felix exits living room toward the bedroom. Cosmo drops his toys and follows close behind.

Cosmo's First Haircut

Before...


During...

After...

recent photos

A list of Cosmo's most used words

Mommy (all the time, even as I write now)

Daddy

Felix (Fewish)

dump truck, car, bus, school bus, airplane, train (Cosmo has matchbox versions of all of these which he obsessively carries with him everywhere)

taxi

river (Cosmo stands up to see the Chicago River each day)

bicycle (uckle)

milk, juice, cereal

Ernie

yellow (yoi-yo)

stuck (his favorite game right now is getting himself wedged between the crib and sofa, and repeating "stuck!" until we rescue him)

driver (refering to the bus driver)

jump (when about to jump off Felix's bed)

and lots more...

Quoth Felix, Even More

Keir: Felix, be careful, you just peed on me a little. I know it was an accident, but be careful.
Felix: (singing) Peeing on your eardrum, peeing on your cheekdrum, hi ho the dairy-o, peeing on your legdrum.

*****

At bedtime, Felix has a strong preference as to where I focus my attention.

F: Daddy, look at the book when you're reading. Don't look into my face. It hurts my ears.

*****

Felix, standing at the bus stop, banging two sticks together.

F: I am just banging this stick to make those cars go faster.
K: I don't think that will make the cars go faster.
F: I think it will.

*****

After a disaster at Rique's, en route to Tedino's, when Felix gives me a kiss.

F: Daddy, I just kissed you because I love pizza.
M: You should kiss your pizza.
F: No way, that's too messy. That's way too messy.

*****

When I arrive at Felix's school, he is building something interesting out of bristle blocks.

F: Daddy, that's a pneumatic smoke-steam car. Don't touch the engine because it gets really hot when it makes noise.

*****

Felix, reading a label.

F: Daddy, that says "organic." That means there is no spinach, or celery, or carrots in here.

****

F: I want my milk!
K: Do you think milk grows on trees?
F: No. I think apples do, usually. And pears do, very often.

(N.B. When Felix says "often," he pronounces the t quite clearly, like "off-ten.")

*****

Felix looks into the future; his parents beam with pride.

F: When I am 31 years old, I won't pee in my pants anymore.

*****

But at least he'll be employed.

F: When I am 56 years old, I am going to be a waiter.

*****

He is a gentle soul.

F: Mommy, screaming on the bus freaks me out.

*****

After the Cubs won the Central Division, and before they were swept in the NLDS, Felix proved he has the makings of a long-suffering Cubs fan.

K: Felix, can you say, "Go, Cubbies"?
F: Go, Cubbies!
K: Felix, the Cubbies are the champions!
F: No, they're not, they're the Cubbies.

On the Other Side, Narnia!

This cabinet used to hold my Scotch collection--I was cleaning it out to make room for some books.

Sometimes a Floor Is Just a Floor

Time to teach him the concept of false modesty. To our neighbor:

Felix: Amber, I am just too cute!

*****

After school, holding up a contraption he's made out of bristle blocks (or is it BristleBlox?):

Keir: Felix, what's that?

Felix: This is an old-fashioned air-conditioner filter.

*****

Squinting in the early evening sun:

F: Um, I am a little bit unhappy in the bright sunlight.

*****

Felix has definitely entered the "why" phase.

Felix: Daddy, what does that sign say?

Keir: It says "Danger!"

F: Why does it say that?

K: Because there is electricity inside of that big box, and they are warning us to be careful.

F: Why do we have to be careful?

K: Because electricity can burn you.

F: Why can it burn you?

K: Well, um, hm...because electricity carries energy...and...it can get...hot...like the burners on a stove! You know how we tell you not to touch the burners on the stove? When we turn them on, the gas makes fire, which is hot, because when we light the gas it releases energy. And we use the fire to cook our food.

F: Why do we cook our food?

K: Because it, well, when you warm it up, it's softer and it tastes better.

F: Whoa! I just said "whoa" because we use the burners to cook!

*****

Very prim and proper are we:

F: I do so like Rique's restaurant.

*****

But also melancholy:

F: I am not happy very often, I don't think.

*****

Drawing:

F: That's a wild astronaut eating ice cream.

*****

One night recently, Felix had a very vivid dream that woke him up feeling confused and a little frightened. Now, however, he loves to tell us about it. It changes a little bit each time, but the gist is always the same.

F: Hey, Daddy, I'm going to talk to you about a spooky story. The spooky story has a blue elevator and on top of it is a white string with a ghost telephone. And it's painted green and it has 258 eyes and 258 legs. And it has 5860 feet.

K: What does the ghost telephone do?
F: It just rolls around. ("wolls awound")

*****

Felix: Mommy, do you think I could jump this high?
Marya: No way! Be careful!

Felix: That doesn't make any sense.

*****

Anticipating the arrival of the babysitter:

Felix: When Miss Alex comes over I am going to pretend that she is a donut. I am going to say "Boo!" to her. I cam going to call her Oliver Boliver Butt. I am going to name her Dave.

*****

One day when I was sitting in the bath, Felix noticed that I no longer have the slim physique of a 25-year-old--to wit, that I get a big crease in my belly. Pressed to explain it, I told him it was a big wrinkle. Delighted, he has since become mildly obsessed with it. Unfortunately, he calls it my "winkle." At storytime, he frequently interrupts reading:

"Hey, Daddy, I am just touching your winkle for fun."

"I am going to buzz your winkle."

"I gave your winkle a big slurpy kiss."

Sigh. We have explained that it's pronounced "wrinkle," but he gleefully insists that he calls it a "winkle." Can't wait until he tells the teachers about that one.

*****

The "why" phase continues:

Keir: Felix, you need to wipe up with this washcloth.

Felix: No, the floor needs to do it.

K: The floor doesn't have any hands.

F: Why doesn't the floor have hands?

K: Because it is not a person.

F: Why is it not a person?

K: Because...I have no idea. It's just not. It's a floor.

Sliding on the Picasso

Special day with Daddy

Putting Felix to bed tonight, we sang a few songs then he said, "Put my sheet on me then let's talk about my special day with Daddy." I tucked in his sheet, then he told me the story about his Friday outing with Keir for the fourth time (same word choices each time). "We got on a three bus and Daddy asked the bus driver 'Does this bus go to Millenium Park?' The bus driver said the bus did go to Millenium Park. When we got off the bus, what do you suppose we saw? Why, it was Crown Fountain! The most speciallest fountain in the whole States of Africa!

Montana in August, Part 2

The carousel in Missoula is surprisingly fast. Not as fast, say, as the Steel Phantom at Kennywood. But fast.

Cosmo and I rode in the imaginatively rendered fishing creel.

"I'm sorry, son, but Daddy doesn't know how to fish."

Felix tries to put the water from the river on the riverbank.

Smoke, smoke, smoke...*cough, cough*...smoke.

Montana in August, Part 1

Grandma Jo and Cosmo watching deer in the front yard.

Hard to drink when the water fountain keeps spinning around!

A balanced, nutritious meal of Chicago-style hot dogs.

Better than Six Flags!

Even Grandpas fit down the slide.